Sunday, March 20, 2011


As I sit here listening to our two year old scream himself to sleep, I feel like I am drowning.  When he was born, we knew we would be doing things differently with him, we had hope, we didn't vaccinate and we began his life with a healthy diet from day one.  But we knew things weren't perfect from very early on when he reacted with eczema to milk and soy in my diet while breast feeding.  We've gone down the same path as we have with Grayson in the name of prevention, yet as he approaches age three, we are questioning our ability to prevent much. 

He was never as severe as Grayson as an infant, just a different and strong personality.  He never had colic and slept well from day one.  We knew he had GI issues and we thought we would be heading off anything further with our biomedicine routine.  Chelation definitely helps him, but we are only coming to round 23.  We still have a very long way to go.  In the meantime, we have found a parasite called Dientamoeba Fragilis and have been doing a parasite cleanse for 30 days.  Since we started the parasite cleanse, he's been miserable, MISERABLE!  I can't tell, if it's constant die-off, if he is reacting to an ingredient or if he is just reaching the same age Grayson started showing signs of sensory processing disorder. 

His sensory defensiveness is suddenly off the charts.  He's never been one to have sensory issues, until now that is.  Suddenly underpants, shoes, socks, his coat and the car seat straps are "TOO TIGHT".  Initially he freaks about it pretty venomously, but when I walk away, he tends to drop it.  I don't know, if this is normal two year old stuff or if the parasite cleanse is blowing things way out of proportion.  And of course, as I mentioned earlier, it could just be coincidental timing, because this IS the age a lot of this stuff begins to show in kids on the spectrum.  His moods are out of control, he is defiant beyond belief and he is testing every last nerve I have left.

For now, I am putting all my hope in the idea that the cleanse is causing significant die-off symptoms, because if I don't, my heart will break, again, all over again....for the second and last child we will have. 


Anne said...

Oh, Jessica...I am not religious, but I can say with feeling that my prayers are with you and your little son. Stay strong, and I hope there are some better times in store for you, soon.


Anne said...

There's no notification of follow-up comments, so I missed your comments to MY comments that last two times, sorry...

I am a celiac, and I've had years of tummy problems, also on the GF diet. In the recent year or so I finally made the connection between my lifelong "brain" issues and my chaotic digestion, and since then I've been trying scd, low sal, and now low ox.

I am having all the "bad" symptoms of low ox diet as described in the lod yahoo group, so I am hopeful that it is helping. I've always "known" about myself that when I "space out", I cannot deal with children, my brain shuts down, and I cannot handle loud noises, or body contact. I have been scared of having children for the same reason - shutting myself away from my own child is the biggest heart break scenario I can imagine. I hope I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and I sometimes shudder to think the strength and love and resolve I would have needed to help a child through what I've been through.

I have two children "part time", not my own :-).

Anonymous said...

so nice to read of your experiences. my son wasn't vaccinated either. but he was not the happiest baby - sleep was terrible, he often looked un-relaxed. eczema, food allergies. but asthma episodes ended by age 3 thank goodness. now he is happy and sports-mad and wonderful. he is great if i'm strict with the no dairy/wheat thing.

let's keep in touch b/c we're doing the same thing - andy cutler chelation on us and our kids. i will do my second round on friday and my son's first round same time.

Jessica said...

Thank you "anonymous", I wish I had a name, hehehe. That is wonderful to hear, there is hope for my cranky boy!! I will be on my second round this weekend too, I would love to stay in touch! How was your first round? Did you have fillings replaced?

Jessica said...

It's great that you have figured out the connection between your symptoms and food. This is a hard connection for most people to make, so you are on the right track!

There are so many diets, it just takes trial and error, but the LOD has been huge for us. I'm like you regarding children and for the same reasons, I too was worried about having my own children. It's been different with my own children versus other people's children though. So many people ask me when I am trying for the girl, but I know in my heart, I am at maximum capacity for myself, so we are done with two. I wouldn't want to have more than I could handle, THAT might throw me over the edge. lol

Gissel said...

Hi Jessica,

Gianna has been having sensory issues lately as well.. she constantly complaints about tag in her shoes, her jacker, hat well anything that possibly has a tag. Another thing is her skin feeling itchy when she wear certain materials anything other then cotton. I hope that is just a phase and it too shall pass. :)

ginabad said...

Hey, Jessica, I 100% understand your sadness. I felt the same way when I began to suspect something was going with Zoe around 18 months. Up to then, everything could just have been "fussy baby". My heart's been broken too many times to count, but now I stand on the side of love & acceptance. You're doing everything you can, so you can trust your kids benefit from your love and care. But parenting is heartbreaking, and as they get older..gee, I don't one parent who has been down to the pit with what they had to go through at some point. Keep 'em safe, love 'em, and teach well - then let them go. It's all you can do. Hang in there.