Tuesday, March 22, 2011

How many hats do YOU wear?

Mothers across the globe have worn multiple hats for centuries, each culture holding it's own special and unique roles.  If you asked me ten years ago where I pictured myself in ten years, biomedical mother would have been the furthest words from my lips.

I always knew I wanted to be a stay at home mother, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind.  I expected to wear the hats of caregiver, lover, homemaker, peace keeper and role model, for sure, but my current list of "hats" far exceeds my wildest dreams.

My personal role as biomedical mother includes many hats of distinction that are often acquired by education, but I have earned mine the hard way, good old experience and old fashioned learning by reading.  To add to the list a mother typically carries, a biomedical mother is also an educator, spokes person, scientist, doctor, chef, nutritionist, pharmacist, homeopath, researcher, politician, frontline-man, chemist, master herbalist, psychologist, psychiatrist, writer (wink) and the list goes on!  We've been forced to break into the medical realm by necessity and it opens more doors than we even knew existed before our children were born.  We often learn more about ourselves in this process than we ever dreamed imaginable. 

I wear my hats with pride.  I'm a better person, because of them, not just in terms of being wise, but also because my own health was brought under scrutiny in the process of identifying our children's deficiencies.  I'd like to think I share the wealth too.  I look forward to guiding other parents who are new in their journeys.  Some just want a little direction and they hit the road running of their own accord, others prefer more hand holding and still others just bounce back to me occasionally looking for reassurance.

Thinking back to my first days of this journey, while I wish I had a person to hold my hand and walk me along the path I am on, I think I am also the kind of person who needs to feel the road under her, regardless of how bumpy it might be.  I believe that experience develops character and it solidifies my choices. 

I am who I am, because of where I have been.  My shoes may be a little big some days, but I walk in them proudly.


Bending Birches said...

I have oodles of respect for you, mama! I can't imagine what you go through...
you've got a beautiful and strong spirit..

Jessica said...

Thank you Rebecca, you put a smile on my face, thank you.

ginabad said...

Very well said! We are often required to wear hats that we cannot envision, and true, it does grow us. Like, I never thought I'd wear the hat of "fighter" (I'm a lover not a fighter, lol!) But there you go, parenting does that to you.

You're wearing them well, Jessica.

Anne said...

Hmm, your post put a smile on my face too, that's the win-win thing about this blogging business, huh :-)

I feel like it's easy to become bitter when it feels like you are being challenged by life again and again, but I just have so many blessings to count as well - I hope I can wear all my "hats" with a smile, the ones that I choose to put on and the ones that are forced on my head ;-). Your list is impressive - I would definitely include researcher in my list as well!

Hmm, I'm glad to hear that you had the same worries as me and are now managing with two kids. I appreciate what you are saying about "trying for the girl" - when I feel well, I'm thinking, a child? Why, of course, no problem! But when I'm down I'm thinking oooh, a child, that would put me over the edge. I am grateful that I have two little "shared" girls in my life, so I don't feel the pressure that I "have" to have kids soon.

Jessica said...

Thank you Gina! I thought about adding fighter to the hats I wear too, lol!

Jessica said...

Yes, I am managing somehow, lol. Perhaps this experience as a biomed-mom has a bigger purpose, to teach me about patience and perseverance, two things I was never capable of pre-children.

I am so proud of the people my children are becoming. It isn't easy for me, but it sure is rewarding which makes it all worth it.

The love you experience for your own children is intense and there are literally no words to describe it appropriately, it's just something you have to experience to get. There is a reason we are called mama bears when someone messes with your child, lol. I never felt love like this before, nor will I ever feel it again, I'm sure. Your children really do hold a special place in your heart and they take it with them when they leave your side! As crazy as my life is, I would never want it any other way, except maybe healthier, lol.

channa said...

I really love this blog!
I have been going thru a bit of a deppression I get very lonely at times just me and my son. I am feel like reading your blog I have a friend. it is so refreshing to hear your stories..thank you for making me feel not so alone in this world

Jessica said...

Awww Channa,
I am sorry you feel so alone. If it's any consolation, I am home a lot with my kids, it can be very lonely. My family lives three states away. It's so much work for me to pack the two kids up on my own, between the special foods, supplements and nap timing, lol. I only get out with my husband when he's not working and usually we also have to drag our chelation along with us and make sure we don't miss doses.

It's hard work and it can be lonely, but I remind myself they are only young once and some day they will be off on their own more than home, so I cherish these days, which I know we will miss.

Feel free to contact me any time to chat, my e-mail address is luckylot@ptd.net.