Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The countdown begins

Kindergarten starts in a month for Grayson and while I am excited for the amazing experiences he will encounter and for the fabulous school he is lucky enough to attend, I am still terrified of the change and my loss of control over his day.  I am used to tweeking his antimicrobials as needed, building in downtime when he's hyper, and watching his progress (and regressions) as they occur.  The idea that I am losing grasp of his routine is terrifying at this stage.  If it were the typical five year old day, I wouldn't be quite as concerned, but there are still days when he flounders all over for control of his own actions and emotions, because of the mess his body is still in.

I also struggle with how much to share with his teachers.   I want them to experience Grayson as he is, without preconceived notions and labels.  But in the same sense, I don't want to set him up for failure either.  The teachers will need to know his food sensitivities at minimum, and of course, the school nurse (and teachers) will need to know about his antimicrobials dosing schedule, but where do I draw the line??  If he becomes hyper, distracted and/or overly emotional, do I need to worry that they will want to label him with ADHD, when I KNOW that isn't what it is?  He often surprises us in public situations, but this is going to be tiring for him, five full days a week!  He is bound to let exhaustion get the best of him at some point.  I just hope he knows he can talk to us, when he feels overwhelmed.

In addition to the little nuances I worry about, I am also worried about his Mondays, the day after chelation.  He is often severely bloated, gassy, tired, emotional, impatient, and has a very low frustration threshold.  When he was in preschool, the teacher noticed changes in his temperament on Mondays.  I was able to share with her why this was happening and she was open-minded, but now I will be dealing with a public school and honestly don't know who I can trust.  I don't exactly feel comfortable discussing chelation, pathogens and antimicrobials with them.

I guess I will just share the bare minimums initially and take it from there.  I will follow their cues and ultimately the protection and success of my child is most important, so if it comes down to it, I wouldn't object to home schooling.  We are going to offer him this chance at normalcy first though.  I want to give him the opportunity to shine through and not allow my fears to control his potential.  For all I know, he could flourish in the environment, and he probably will.  One thing I know for sure, there couldn't be a better school for him and us!  It was was founded on seven core values - sustainability, creativity, mutual respect, cultural richness, integrated, academic excellence and hands-on learning.  He did really well in Montessori preschool, and this curriculum is going to be very similar in style.  It's very hands-on, in fact, his preschool Montessori teacher/owner was involved in writing this curriculum!  We couldn't be luckier! 

So for now, I will have to watch my little guy hop on a bus in the morning and leave me and his little brother behind while he goes off to learn and grow five days a week.  It's bitter sweet.

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