Sadness

As I sit here listening to our two year old scream himself to sleep, I feel like I am drowning.  When he was born, we knew we would be doing things differently with him, we had hope, we didn't vaccinate and we began his life with a healthy diet from day one.  But we knew things weren't perfect from very early on when he reacted with eczema to milk and soy in my diet while breast feeding.  We've gone down the same path as we have with Grayson in the name of prevention, yet as he approaches age three, we are questioning our ability to prevent much. 

He was never as severe as Grayson as an infant, just a different and strong personality.  He never had colic and slept well from day one.  We knew he had GI issues and we thought we would be heading off anything further with our biomedicine routine.  Chelation definitely helps him, but we are only coming to round 23.  We still have a very long way to go.  In the meantime, we have found a parasite called Dientamoeba Fragilis and have been doing a parasite cleanse for 30 days.  Since we started the parasite cleanse, he's been miserable, MISERABLE!  I can't tell, if it's constant die-off, if he is reacting to an ingredient or if he is just reaching the same age Grayson started showing signs of sensory processing disorder. 

His sensory defensiveness is suddenly off the charts.  He's never been one to have sensory issues, until now that is.  Suddenly underpants, shoes, socks, his coat and the car seat straps are "TOO TIGHT".  Initially he freaks about it pretty venomously, but when I walk away, he tends to drop it.  I don't know, if this is normal two year old stuff or if the parasite cleanse is blowing things way out of proportion.  And of course, as I mentioned earlier, it could just be coincidental timing, because this IS the age a lot of this stuff begins to show in kids on the spectrum.  His moods are out of control, he is defiant beyond belief and he is testing every last nerve I have left.

For now, I am putting all my hope in the idea that the cleanse is causing significant die-off symptoms, because if I don't, my heart will break, again, all over again....for the second and last child we will have.