Time for a new face? Who am I really?

I have a small confession to make, I have been contemplating starting a new blog.  One that reflects my new being.  There is just no easy way to say this, so I will just say it.  I am no longer the mom you read about in these entries behind me.  I am still a fuss about food, that will never change.  I am evolving though.  It's as if I entered my chrysalis stage and am awaiting my wings.  I feel renewed in such a way that our future never looked brighter.

Autism?  A distant memory.

Even PANDAS is only visible in my rear view mirror now.  It isn't gone, but it isn't here either. 

The evolution I have been part of is almost mind-blowing.  I wouldn't believe any of it, even if I were reading it in a memoir only 6 months ago.  It would appear like a character in a fictional novel, someone else's life, certainly not mine.  How incredibly wild it was to wake up one day and realize this IS me!  This WAS me all along, how did I not know sooner??

Well, you are probably thoroughly intrigued by now, lol.  I may lose readers here, but I hope to gain others, in fact, what I hope most is to retain all of my current readers and gain others, so we can all merge into this realm together.  What I am referring to is energy medicine.

This means something different to each person who participates or practices energy medicine.  To me, it simply means being totally in tune with my gut feelings.  Even writing this is hard for me, because I have spent years squashing the real me, without even realizing it.  I may sound "crazy".  I know I am not though, because I am living the ultimate....the results of accepting it.  More importantly, so are my kids!

Over the past year or two, as I have been helping parents trust their gut instincts to guide them in healing their children, one thing became very clear....I just know things.  I have been asked so many times, "How did you know to....?"  I repeatedly heard myself saying, "I don't know, I just know".  

What I have finally learned about myself during an insightful transformation is that I am in the early stages of uncovering my potential as a clairsentient.  Meaning, I have a gift of "knowing".  I am not a fan of labels, so I don't even like labeling myself with this somewhat intriguing label, haha.  It does, however, provide some form of description though, and it provided me with a description of something I realized I could relate to.  I have always been an extreme empath, to the point of embarrassment, because I can't always control it.  It isn't cool to cry in front of someone, because I have taken on their emotions....even when they haven't shared them with me!  This is one of the reasons I had shut it off previously.  But it didn't leave me completely, in fact, it was the underlying force of all of my decisions for my children.  Clairsentience is one of the most overlooked psychic abilities and requires one to clear their own energies in order to become a clear channel.

There are two ways that clairsentience works.

1. Clairsentience works by allowing an intuitive to receive signals from the spirit realm. A clairsentient will be able to sense the messages, where as a clairvoyant will see the messages, and a clairaudient will hear the messages. The clairsentient will feel what a spirit is trying to say, and interpret the message by using their intuition.
2. The second way that clairsentience works, is by allowing an intuitive to understand the feelings of the people around them, (empathy). Clairsentients often use their abilities to share and heal the pain of others. By sensing what someone feels, a healing clairsentient will know exactly what remedies someone needs

When an event out of my control spiraled me into a situation requiring a lot of self-analysis, I saw this side of me that I never acknowledged.  I took some time to just be.  Something I never did, I was always researching, creating, fixing something or someone, and planning the next step.  For once, I just took time to BE!!  I didn't research, I didn't fix things, I wasn't onto the next best treatment or practitioner.  I just waited for communication from the universe.  It was in this calm that I found myself.  Suddenly, I got ME.  I mean, I really got who I am, who I have been all along.  Everything began to make sense, including what was going on with my kids.  And how interesting to find out (after the fact) that my solar plexus chakra which was blocked and needed some attention, as I began going through this transformation, is the chakra that is most linked to clairsentience. 

I decided things were going to change.  And change, they have!  I am now using my intuition to guide our health decisions.  Not that this is very different from my past, although now I am doing it more consciously, with intent.  We use only homeopathy and soil based organisms.  Remedies are chosen based on intuition.  I also clear our energy regularly.  It's amazing what dealing with the chakras, meridians and aura can do for detox!!  I can't believe we survived biomed without this knowledge!  I see instant changes in us, when we acquire non-beneicial frequencies and likewise, when I remove them.  We have been able to move through high potency remedies with ease since participating in energy healing.  Our past was riddled with significant detox symptoms, something I thought just came with the territory.  How wrong I was!

What I find most important about metaphysical powers is that we all have them.  We are born intimately connected to the universe.  We can choose to shut them off or we can choose to actively embrace them.   None of what I have experienced is extraordinary, the only difference between myself and others is that I am now recognizing these events and learning to use them to my advantage.

In retrospect, this isn't really a new me, but merely the next progression of me.

So my whole point in this entry is that I would love to continue writing, but this is a new realm for me and I am not sure exactly how much I plan to share.  Like anything else though, it will come to me, when the time is right.  I hope you will find yourself wanting to follow along as I find my wings.  My new blog can be found at "You are what you...believe!"

Why now?

Why now?  Why didn't I find this path with homeopathy sooner?  Especially when homeopathy was the very FIRST therapy we tried with both myself and Grayson 6 years ago.

My best friend and I have discussed this at great length recently, because we wonder, could we have avoided all of the bumps in the road that lead us here?  Could we have healed ourselves and our children sooner?  Should this have been the first treatment we tried?  We unanimously agree, NO!!

We needed the path we were on.  We are who we are today, because of the path we have traveled.  We saw glimpses of who our children could be, and it drove us harder.  We learned about anatomy and physiology, because of the path we traveled.  Our diets are healthy, our environment is cleaned up, because of the research we did.  We researched and experimented and we came to incredible conclusions due to the roads we visited.  And most importantly, we met the people we needed to meet to find this path.  It wasn't put in front of us sooner for very valid reasons, we just weren't ready for it!  Every single day of our pasts have lead us to this very point in our lives.  I wouldn't change a thing. 

I am a dedicated researcher and a dedicated parent, no...that is an understatement, it might be more appropriate to define myself as anal retentive and controlling, and a little over zealous at times.  ; )  This is why it's even more undeniable that for the first time in our healing journey, we are in the right place.  I am ready and able to let go.  I am ready to hand the torch to someone else and jump on the waves.  I am ready to trust and look inside myself for guidance and confirmation that we are on the right path finally!  I'm ready, and so are they...

Another camel milk story to share

The author of this blog, Harshita, is a member of our camel milk facebook group.  She has gone to great lengths to attain camel milk for her son and reading her story, you will see why.

Post 5 days of Camel Milk; Degeneration…Quest and…Discovery…

The name of the game

Two steps forward, one back....that's the name of the game when your child is recovering from the onslaught of daily toxins with a compromised immune system. 

As you might have seen from my previous post, we had a LOT of great improvements occurring, but of course I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop....and so it did (sigh).  When there are so many overlapping treatments, it's really very hard to know which are causing or helping what.  We spend a lot of time chasing symptoms, trying to address each one as they come and go.  I'm not going to lie, some of it is guess-work, but after two years of this, typically there is some sort of history to pull from.  I have to admit though, this time around, I am stumped, because with homeopathy, there are two possibilities: aggravation or the need for a higher potency.  I find myself confused about whether to take a break or increase the drops.  My gut is telling me to hold off on the remedy and watch for a few days, because what I felt like we were experiencing last night was more of a worsening of symptoms that already exists (not that the remedy isn't a match) but possibly that he is getting too much of it and we are seeing a slight proving of the remedy.  In case you don't already know, proving in homeopathy, is when a person is exhibiting the very symptoms that the remedy is intended to treat.  In a healthy person, giving them a high dose of a remedy causes provings, which is exactly how homeopathy is tested.  In person taking the right remedy, it's possible to see mild provings when they are taking too much of the remedy. 

Want to know how it all went down last night?  Ok, so we had these fabulous days of progress, everything was going great, he was flexible, patient, happy....then yesterday we noticed some minor set-backs like a growing irritation with daily routine, less flexibility, even a slight belly by sunset.  We were thinking that because he had such a rough night of sleep the night before, he was just tired, but now thinking back, perhaps the rough night of sleep was our first indication that something was brewing.  (note to self - when sleep is disrupted, hold off on remedy)  So even with the irritations, he was still unbelievably calm and went to bed GREAT!  He fell asleep fast, which is not usually the case when something isn't right, so again, we were thinking we were right on track.  9:30 pm rolls around and he started crying.  Usually if something like this happens from a bad dream, he just needs a little attention, we rub his head, let him know we are there and he falls right back to sleep.  Not this time!!  An hour later, I was still trying to calm an irritable, crying, frantic and unreasonable child.  He would calm for a short time and it would all start back up again.  He couldn't keep his legs still, he was thrashing and flipping and screaming.  The poor thing was so tired, but he just couldn't relax and sleep. Something obviously wasn't right with his body.  I ran an epsom salt bath for him thinking the warm water and salts would sooth him, well he fought that too, screaming, kicking, holding onto door jambs to prevent from being brought into the bathroom, but I knew he needed it so I calmly reassured him that this is going to help him feel better and get back to sleep.  He tried smacking the water out of the tub and screaming at us.  He wouldn't listen to calm rational talk and he was fidgeting rather than relaxing, so I finally closed the shower curtain so he couldn't see us and I told him when he is ready to start breathing calmly and steadily (his breaths were jagged, frantic, short, choppy attempts) he could get out.  It took him a while to get control over himself, but he did and within a few minutes, he was relaxing against the side of the tub breathing in deeply through his nose and out through his mouth like I taught him.  This has always been my method for trying to get him to calm himself, focus on deep breathing, open the airways, stop holding his breath.  He had been holding his breath which causes panic.  Once he was relaxed, he came out talking more calmly and ready for rest.  He was telling me that he is sad and he doesn't want to go to school because he misses us.  He has always loved school so I don't know, if this is the cause of the mood or the result of something else going on with his body, but it's a sign that something isn't going well.  And that is the beauty of this process, it's all experimental and hindsight tells us more than the moment we are experiencing.  Just because he could be great for a few days in a row, doesn't mean we have crossed a bridge, it's quite the jagged path!

So, where are we?

It's so hard to say right now, I feel like we are at a transition of sorts.  We are still chelating, although it's on hold for the time being, while we try out Grayson's homeopathic constitutional remedy.   Once this remedy kicks in, we should be able to cut back on supplements and treatments, some would even go as far as to say that we wouldn't require chelation any longer, but I have a hard time thinking anything but chelation can remove metals from the brain.  Until I have hard and fast proof, I will just keep going with my gut on this one. I have been told that his sensitivity to yeast and bacteria should begin to decline as the remedy does it's thing!  Light at the end of the tunnel!!  Even with this high hope, I didn't expect to see some of the changes we have already witnessed in him, so early in the treatment process.

We initially started him on a low potency (30C) dose monthly, then moved it back to weekly and now we are working with LM potencies which can be dosed daily and should never be experimented with unless you are under the care of a homeopathic practitioner.  The very first thing we witnessed with the low potency dosing was a change in the way he came down a flight of stairs.  I know this seems odd, but with Sensory Processing Disorder, there are often motor skill delays.  One of the things he has always done is bring his second descending foot down to meet the first on the lower step, then he would repeat it so it look like this: right foot down, left foot meets right foot, right foot down, left foot meets right foot.  He would never lead with his left, nor would he alternate steps which, developmentally, should start to happen by 3 years of age.  We had given him the last of a sequence of doses one night and the very next morning, he flew down the flight of stairs alternating both feet the whole way and without holding on!!  I actually asked him to repeat it for his father to see!  In the past, I could ask him to do this, but he would hold the railing for stability and the left foot was very awkward going down, it was as if using it caused his center of gravity to falter.  I cannot believe the ease he flew down the stairs with!  These kind of things don't happen overnight. 

We also started to see an ability to cope with things that he previously couldn't cope with.  I think there is habit associated with his past frustrations, so he would begin to react the way he used to, then suddenly the coping mechanism would appear to kick in and he would change direction.  This is something that we still see vacillating, but I think these behaviors require some habit changes too.  He has been responding to certain stimuli in a particular way for years now, I imagine he would need to adjust his thinking to match his feelings.  Getting himself dressed (fine motor delays) has always been a battle.  He is now dressing himself completely, when he wakes for school, and coming downstairs to meet us fully dressed!

Sound sensitivities are another area of improvement.  We had a contractor at our house after his very first dose of his remedy and when he started using a nail gun in the next room, Grayson (again with habit) immediately raised both hands to put them over his ears, but he stopped mid-air, looked at me and said, "What is that?".  My explanation was enough for him to put his hands down and continue with what he was doing.  This is HUGE!  He also used to fear motorcycles and recently he heard one pass by while we were walking outside and instead of freakin out, again, he asked me, "What was THAT?", hands by his sides the entire time!  For the first time ever, he chose to listen to and acknowledge the sound rather than fearing it and going into defense mode. 

There has been an overall change in his attitude as well.  In the past, we had many fluctuations based on the condition of his gut.  If his bacteria or yeast were slightly elevated, he could go from happy Grayson to miserable and angry Grayson in a split second.  Even as tired as his new schedule is making him, he is still managing to keep his cool most of the time!  I still see moments of aggravation, but that can also be chalked up to how tired he is now that he is waking two hours earlier than usual, plus we are going to be experimenting with his dosing requirements for a few weeks.  It's not uncommon to see aggravations from a remedy when it is dosed too frequently.  Homeopathy is a game of trial and error, every case is unique, but once the right remedy, potency and dosing schedule is attained, it can literally cause miraculous changes, right before your eyes. And the best part is that these changes will continue to come as the body heals itself!

It is very interesting to have learned that although not so uncommon with mother and child, Grayson's remedy is the same as mine!  Our children tend to have not only genetic links, but there are energetic links to a mother's mood, especially while pregnant.  They tend to take on many of the mother's personality traits in the early years, making it very common for the two to share a remedy.  It solidifies matters that his birthday is a week before mine, we are both the astrological sign gemini and boy do we fit it!

I will continue to document our experiences with homeopathy.  If you haven't considered this path yet, read The Impossible Cure.  You will not only learn about homeopathy and how it works, but you will read a real life autism cure story, as well.  Information and memoir in one.